Joker's Christmas Wishlist

(I found this by googling “Kentucky Christmas.” I know, right?)

Today is Christmas Day and its time for Joker and his staff to do some last minute shopping for the 2012 recruiting class. I won’t recount all of the current commitments (you can find that HERE), but there are still some holes to be filled on the roster. The news of JUCO guard Darone Bailey flipping to Ole Miss in the eleventh hour has opened up another spot in the class and the recent addition of A.J. Legree has taken one away, but the Cats still have some holes to fill.
– Despite having five offensive linemen committed to the class, Kentucky could probably still use another offensive tackle with Chandler Burden and Billy Joe Murphy both graduating and the team only returning three scholarship tackles this spring.
– The graduation of both Randall Burden and Anthony Mosley coupled with the early departures of Jerrell Priester and Dale Trimble this season has also left the cornerbacks in short supply as well. Even though rivals.com has the Cats with nine players listed as defensive backs or ‘athletes,’ the picture isn’t quite that rosy. Many of the players listed as defensive backs are expected to play as safeties or linebackers in college and only a handful are anticipated to line up at cornerback. An impact corner would be a welcomed addition to the recruiting class as well.
– Even though the Wildcats only graduated Matt Roark at wide receiver, there’s still a need at the position. Once you get past La’rod King (who is a relatively proven commodity), Gene McCaskill and E.J. Fields have both battled injuries throughout their careers, Aaron Boyd has made little impact since arriving on campus, Brian Adams is rumored to be giving up football to focus on a promising baseball career, and the rest of the roster is made up of largely unproven redshirt freshmen and sophomores. Only Demarcus Sweat is definitely slated for receiver out of the current class, and the Cats could probably use another pass catcher.
– The defensive line is probably the strength of the current recruiting class. That said, there are some question marks there as well. Tyrone Pearson and Daniel Ross have long been considered academic risks, so Kentucky would be wise to keep an eye on another defensive tackle or two just in case. No team ever has enough quality defensive linemen.
– Despite a roster full of young linebackers, another quality linebacker wouldn’t be a bad thing either. Depth is crucial at the position where heavy hits and injuries can take a toll as the season progresses.

So, with those needs considered, here is how I see Joker’s shopping list stacking up.

Jake Meadors – OT – 6’7 / 305 – Whiteland, IN
Present equivalent: 42” LED TV
Does anyone really NEED a big fancy flat-screen? No, definitely not. But that doesn’t make us all want one. Meadors is a guy that the staff has been on for a while, but he spurned the Cats for Ole Miss this past summer. Now that Houston Nutt is out at Ole Miss, Kentucky is trying to get back in the picture to score a commitment from Meadors. He may not be something that the Cats NEED, but adding Meador to the fold would sure make WATCHING Kentucky football a lot more enjoyable.

Adolphus Washington – DE – 6’4 / 230 – Cincinnati, OH
Present equivalent: 2012 Toyota Tundra
No one actually gets a vehicle for Christmas, at least no one that I know of, but Washington would be pretty close for the Cats. Does Kentucky have to have a brand new shiny defensive end to get the job done? No, not really. BUT… the defense could really do some work and haul some ass with an athlete the caliber of Washington and he would be a great fit for the aggressive defense Rick Minter employs. He’s a great combination of size, speed, and attitude that a great pass rusher needs to be. It will be interesting to see if he remains committed to Ohio State now that the NCAA has levied sanctions against them, but it still might be a pipe dream to get him from the Buckeyes.

Trae Clark – DT – 6’4 / 320 – Cincinnati, OH
Present equivalent: Digital Camera
You’re life evolves every day and it’s always great to have something to capture those moments you want to remember. Similarly, Kentucky’s defense continues to evolve under rick Minter’s leadership and what was supposed to be a hybrid combination of the 4-3 and 3-4 defensive schemes, ended up looking a lot more like a traditional 3-4 defense by the end of the year. One thing the 3-4 defense has to have to operate effectively is a solid Nose Guard that can capture opposing blockers and keep the linebackers free to make plays. Clark has the type of frame to make an immediate contribution to the defense and give the Wildcats a massive body to fill the middle of the field. As a 3-Star recruit he won’t be on the front of ESPN magazine when he signs, but much like that camera, you’ll love having Clark a lot more than you realize now.

Tre Banks – LB – 6’0 / 225 – Mobile, AL
Present equivalent: Diaper bag
It’s not the sexiest gift you can get, but a diaper bag is something you can always use (when you have a little one) and something that doesn’t get the respect it deserves. A good diaper bag has spots for diapers, a changing pad, extra bottles, pacifiers, a change of clothes, and all kind of other versatile things that will only make your life easier. Adding Tre Banks to the recruiting class won’t make huge waves, but he is one of the most naturally athletic linebackers on Kentucky’s board and has a playing style similar to Danny Trevathan’s (who was a two-star recruit that no one cared about when he signed). Banks won’t bump Kentucky into a top-10 class, but he will be appreciated more every time the defense uses him.

Gabriel Marks – WR – 6’0 / 175 – Los Angeles, CA
Present equivalent: iPhone 4S
You already have a great phone, but the iPhone 4S does it all. There’s even a nice lady named Siri that is apparently trapped inside the phone that will help you with everyday quests. Sort of like an iPhone, Kentucky has plenty of options at receiver on the roster and could probably make due with what they have. There are also other options for the Cats to go after on the recruiting trail. When all is said and done though, Marks is an elite talent that can do so many things for the Wildcats that other players cannot. He’s a proven playmaker with the ball in his hands and actually shows just as much promise as a defensive back as he does on offense. The Kentucky staff will probably have to stand in a long line to get a chance at Marks, but getting him would certainly be worth it.

Monty Madaris – WR – 6’2 / 190 – Cincinnati, OH
Present equivalent: The Lion King (blue ray)
The Lion King was created back in the early nineties (like Madaris) and has been on the shelf for a while (like Madaris). You keep it on your Christmas wish list because you really want it, but you’re not sure if you’ll end up getting it, but you can’t justify dropping the money to get something that is essentially a luxury at this point. There are a ton of other movies on your shelf at home, but then again, this one is something special to you. Madaris is not a player Kentucky has to have, but he has the type of skills that could make him one of the best receivers in the conference with some refining. Much like the Lion King, you also won’t be able to wait to put him in and watch him go.

Raphael Andrades – WR – 6’0 / 190 – Tallahassee, FL
Present equivalent: Call of duty – Modern Warfare 3
Like most other games in the Call of Duty franchise, Modern Warfare 3 has been a go-to gift for any video gamer on your Christmas shopping list. Unfortunately, it gets more popular the closer you get to the holidays as more and more people decide they want to get the game. Andrades is similar because he’s something you know the Kentucky offense will love and are sure to play right away, but as we inch closer to signing day, his stock only continues to rise. His reprted favorites at this time are Arkansas and Kentucky, but now that Notre Dame has invited him up for an official visit, all bets are off. Hopefully Joker and company can pull off the upset and steal Andrades away from the Razorbacks and Irish, and hopefully you can get this video game before stores run out.

Graham Shuler – OT – 6’5 / 275 – Nashville, TN
Present equivalent: Dyson Vacuum
Not everyone will truly appreciate a new Dyson vacuum cleaner, but for those that do, it’s one of the best gifts you could ask for. They can do everything and provide you all you really need to clean up a mess. Nevertheless, not a lot of people expect to actually get one for the holidays. Schuler is an offensive lineman, so he won’t be truly appreciated by casual fans, but he can do it all. He has the ability to protect the passer with the best of them and is also a devastating run blocker. While he is currently a Stanford commit, Shuler is from Nashville and Palo Alto is a LONG way from Tennessee. It seems like almost every season sees players commit to Stanford early and end up choosing somewhere closer to home by signing day. No Kentucky fan should expect to get him, but if we do somehow, he could help clean up the mess that was the 2011 Kentucky offense.

Ace Wales- RB – 5’9 / 170 – Louisville, KY
Present equivalent: Kentucky Derby tickets
The Derby is a fun event that is pretty much a sure thing. You know it will be a good time, and you know exactly how you’ll use the gift of tickets when you open them. On top of that, going to Louisville is probably something that you’re familiar with and there’s a certain comfort level in going into the city that you know so well. Wales is from Louisville and plays at Central High School, where the staff has built a recruiting pipeline to Lexington. With Wales, the Cats know they’ll be getting a shifty runner that is tougher to bring down than you would think for his size, and a guy that has a skill-set that works very well in the Kentucky offense. Getting Derby tickets (if you live in Kentucky) isn’t always a huge surprise, but something you know you’ll enjoy watching, just like Wales.

I’Tavius Mathers – RB – 6’0 / 195 – Murfreesboro, TN
Present equivalent: Otterbox
Well, if you’re going to get a new phone for the holidays, the must have accessory is a new Otterbox for it. It really doesn’t matter what you do for a living, securing your phone in an Otterbox can give you piece of mind that you know it’s protected and it will work for the foreseeable future. Mathers is the type of back that can protect your offense by giving you positive plays and he has the type of ability that the pro-style scheme is made for. With Houston Nutt being let go down at Ole Miss, it will be interesting to see if the Cats can get back in on the guy who was reportedly at the top of the wish list at running back, and a guy that can be a stylish but functional accessory for the offense to use.

Dami Ayoola – RB – 5’10 / 200 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Present equivalent: Scratch off ticket
Is there a better stocking stuffer than scratch off tickets? Sure it’s a gamble, but they’re fun and can pay off big time if you get lucky. The best part about a scratch off ticket is its ability to affect your future. Ayoola is a guy that is not talked about much any more by UK fans. He was on the wish list for running backs at one time, but sort of fell off the map when he committed to Illinois. Now that Ron Zook is out, it may be easier for the Cats to get back in with him and, if they do, get a versatile running back. But the big thing is him being from St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Florida. As one of the premier powerhouses in the high school ranks, nabbing Ayoola could eventually become the start of a pipeline the way that Kyrus Lanxter, Corey Peters, and Ray Sanders helped establish recruiting pipelines to Alcoa, Central, and Stephenson high schools. But on top of all of that, Ayoola could end up paying off big for the Cats on the field… “Jackpot” big.

Lamontiez Ivey – QB – 6’3 / 225 – East St. Louis, IL
Present equivalent: Bottle of Woodford Reserve Bourbon
If you live in Kentucky, enjoy nice bourbon, drink more than you’d like to admit, or are just a generally awesome person, you know what Woodford reserve is. It’s one of those gifts that you’re not sure when or how you’re going to use it, but you know you’ll enjoy every second of it when you finally do. It’s also something that very few people would EXPECT to get for the holidays. Ivey is much the same. You don’t expect for Kentucky to sign him, but if they do, figuring out how to utilize his talents could end up being a lot of fun. He’s got a great blend of size and speed and is a more polished passer than he gets credit for. If he does eventually ink with Kentucky, seeing how the offense utilizes his talents should be fun to watch.

Chris Humes – CB – 6’1 / 195 – Hoover, AL
Present equivalent: Box of diapers
For those with kids, you know what I’m talking about when I put diapers on here. At first glance, it’s not a glamorous gift or one most people would get excited about. But if you have kids, you know that there is nothing you really need more and will use up quicker than a brand new 100 count pack of pampers and it’s never a long-shot to get them. Humes is a guy that can help the depleted defensive backfield and comes from the talent rich town of Hoover. He is big enough to play safety and fast enough to play corner, which makes him the ideal athlete for UK to target. Best of all, Humes is talented enough to cover up all the crap that Kentucky fans saw in the defensive backfield in 2011 (like that play on words?).

Torren McGaster – CB – 5’10 / 185 – Daphne, AL
Present equivalent: New 700 thread-count sheets
When you get a little older, anything involving the improvement of your sleep becomes an awesome gift. A new mattress, mattress pad, memory foam pillow, etc. goes from an “Awww man…” gift for a 15-year old to a “Sweet! This is exactly what I need” gift for a 30-year old. The most important thing about sheets though, is that they make you more comfortable and cover you up when you need it most. McGaster is a guy that most fans aren’t talking about, but he hails from the talent-rich Mobile, AL area and we all know how highly regarded Tee Martin is down there. Adding McGaster to the 2012 class would be a way for the staff to shore up the cornerback position, as he is sure to ‘cover up” any mistakes made by the front seven. The Cats appear to have found a gem out of Mobile in Eric Dixon and McGaster might be another sleeper from the bay area.

Josh Harvey-Clemons – ATH – 6’5 / 208 – Valdosta, GA
Present equivalent: R/C Helicopter
Not a lot of adults expect to get a remote-controlled helicopter for Christmas, but that doesn’t make it any less of a gift. Take any guy you want, add an R/C helicopter, and watch his maturity level drop to that of a 10-year old. We just can’t help it, and you know, as you read this, that I’m right. A guy like Harvey Clemons is the type of stud athlete that can make even the most casual football fan turn into a giddy little kid. He has the ability to be a standout on defense (and is a great fit for the hybrid LB/DE position UK uses), or could be an excellent option on offense as a pass-catching tight end that Kentucky has needed so desperately. Heck, the guy could even pull a “Chris Gamble” and play both ways in college if he really wanted to. Regardless of which team eventually signs Harvey-Clemons, they are getting a toy that they will find a thousand ways to use.

Travares Copeland – ATH – 5’11 / 175 – Port St. Lucie, FL
Present equivalent: HD Camcorder
There are some things that you just can’t appreciate until you have them, and a camcorder is at the top of that list for me at least. At first, you might think, “why do I need a camcorder? I have a phone that shoots videos and my digital camera can take short movies too.” But then, once you get one, you realize that it does so much more than what you already have and you can use it in hundreds of different ways. Copeland is such a versatile athlete that the biggest problem with signing him, will be figuring out how exactly to use him. On one hand, he could easily be a shut-down cornerback for your defense…but on the other hand, he could also be a playmaking weapon as a wide receiver on offense. No matter what though, it’s never a bad idea to have a player that can do so much and can record some quality memories for your team and fans.

Harding Harper – LB – 6’2 / 215 – Montgomery, AL
Present equivalent: Playstation 3
There’s nothing quite like a shiny new Playstation 3 for the holidays. You can get endless games to play to your hearts desire, pop in a blue ray movie, stream Netflix, surf the web, and categorize all your favorite pictures and home movies on the system. It does it all, and is a great gift for anyone regardless of whether they play video games. Harper is the type of linebacker teams crave. He’s big and strong enough to play in the middle of a 3-4 scheme, but is still also fast enough to play on the Will spot in a 4-3. Adding Harper to the class would give Kentucky a player that can play in the middle of their 3-4 set, the OLB/DE hybrid position, or the OLB/S hybrid spot. He does it all.

Guito Ervilus – TE – 6’4 / 220 – Orlando, FL
Present equivalent: Gift certificate for a Carnival Cruise
As much as I love a cruise, no one really ever expects to get a gift certificate for a vacation that will take you tons of places and make sure you have a great time on the trip. Even though you may have a decent vacation before, a Carnival Cruise will allow you to do things you’ve never done and if you’re sober enough to know what’s going on (unlike my brother Jesse was), you’ll certainly have a great time. No matter what, you’ll be excited to get the gift. Ervilus is a guy that can play tight end on offense or could line up on defense too. He does so many things well, that the staff may have trouble picking a position for him to play. While the Cats are loaded up on tight ends and at the OLB/DE hybrid position, Ervilus is a luxury that may be worth pursuing.

LaJuan Warfield – WR – 5’11 / 180 – Alcoa, TN
Present equivalent: New socks
No one ever expects to get new socks, but it seems like you get them every year. They don’t offer any glitz or glamour, but they always seem to be something you can use and you always appreciate them more once you’re wearing them. Warfield isn’t even listed in some of the recruiting databases, but he is a talented receiver from Alcoa High School in Tennessee. While he won’t be bumping the recruiting ranking up by joining the class, he has the type of skills that could allow him to develop into a very good college player. Fans should remember too, Kyrus Lanxter, Randall Cobb, Tyler Robinson, and D.J. Warren weren’t highly regarded recruits either, but each impressed the staff so much that they were all four played as true freshmen. If UK fans have learned anything, they should all know by know to never underestimate the usefulness of an Alcoa product no matter how mundane their rating is. Some things are never appreciated as much as they should be.

There you have the unofficially official wishlist for the 2012 recruiting class. Obviously the staff won’t get all (or even most) of the players listed, but a few of them sure would be a nice gift for the UK fans after a tough year.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Bodhi Day, Jolly Diwali, Happy Ramadan, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Boxing Day, Happy New Year, and Merry Xenu Day (couldn’t leave out the Scientologists). Basically, I hope you’re enjoying your holidays regardless of what you celebrate or where you’re from.