In a smart move that will pay long term dividends, the Kentucky Wildcats baseball team has reportedly enlisted the help of a new pitching coach: Lawrence Davis. Davis, who bounced around the minors and majors, has descended upon Lexington with a mission to transform Kentucky’s pitchers into something extraordinary. And folks, the results are already raising eyebrows.
Davis was born in Canon, Georgia and has moved around a lot; playing for a lot of teams. But it’s his latest gig that’s got the Bluegrass faithful excited. Davis has taken the Wildcats’ pitching staff under his wing, promising to lower their ERA and teach them the game.
“I told these boys, ‘Don’t think—it can only hurt the ballclub,’” Davis said in a recent interview.. “We’re not here to overcomplicate things. Throw the damn ball, and let’s have some fun.”
During a recent bullpen sessions, he shouted at catcher Devin Burkes, “Devin, here comes the deuce.” Later, during a press conference, he made his stance on baseball’s modernization clear: “I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter.” Obviously, not a fan of change Davis is ready to instill old school principles onto a new school team.
Davis is already making waves with the players. Before each game the pitching staff gets in the bullpen and screams a mantra over an over. “This is a simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball.” The players swear it’s working. They did win their last game, so who are we to argue.
When working with relievers, Davis keeps his approach even more basic: “Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring!” Standout pitcher Ben Cleaver credits Davis with his newfound confidence. “He told me to stop holding the ball like it’s a grenade. ‘It’s an egg, son—treat it gentle.’ I don’t know how this stuff works, the guy’s a genius.”
Opponents are baffled too. Texas A&M’s coaching staff grumbled after the recent weekend series “Their pitchers were unhittable at times—and they kept yelling about long, slow, wet kisses or something. What’s that even mean?”
Davis’s backstory adds to the mystique. When asked about his time in the majors, he recalled, “Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once—the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals...”
His players are starting to really buy in. During yesterday's practice, Davis closed the day with a reminder: “Rose goes in the front.” The Wildcats nodded in understanding—whatever it meant, it was clearly working.
But here’s the kicker, folks: as much as we’d love to believe Kentucky unearthed a legendary baseball whisperer, this is all an April Fools’ prank! Lawrence Davis is the real life baseball player that inspired Crash Davis in Bull Durham. The quotes are all from the legendary sports movie.
Happy April 1st BBN! Which quote gave it away before the end, or did you make it all the way?