WBN Nightcap: A (Farcical) Letter To Kentucky Football Fans

Well that was a disaster. Another two win season and no SEC wins for Kentucky football.

We really fell for the line they were selling us about this Stoops guy. To think we all paid Ticketmaster those fees to go to that Spring Game and made UK a mint off of concessions. Just another brilliant marketing ploy by Mr. Barnhart. For the money we are paying for these guys, we could have just kept Joker Phillips and used the extra to help renovate Rupp Arena.

I can’t believe everyone got so excited for more of the same old Kentucky football. We hired MARK Stoops, not Bob, and we all saw the results. Everyone got all pumped because of recruiting and Neal Brown was bringing the “Air Raid” back to Lexington like the one and only Hal Mumme did once upon a time. Then what happened. These new recruits come in and barely half of the class even plays! Stoops is running off players left and right to make room for these kids to redshirt? Za’Darius Smith didn’t even get double digit sacks.

And the “Air Raid”? What a joke. More like the ground raid. Always running the ball like anybody wants to watch that. And when they do throw the ball it’s a screen or over the middle to a tight end, because those tight ends will take it the distance. Where was the deep ball? I saw one pass to Blue that was over eighty yards, against Miami freaking Ohio. UK’s longest play of the year was a run by Whitlow. Quarterbacks are supposed to throw footballs, not run with them. Tim Couch almost got killed running the ball as a freshman.

This is what you get for hiring a defensive coordinator as head coach. He wants to keep scores close by running the ball and working on his boring defense. Looks at the guys he is recruiting, a bunch of defensive guys. He tried to take Dy’Shawn Mobley to play defense for crying out loud. Then they have to play him the last two games and we see who should have been starting the whole year. Another staff playing favorites. We should have hired Kliff Kingsbury, that guy knows how to put up points. He had Texas Tech ranked this year. Or at least Bobby Petrino, he is building a sleeping giant down in Bowling Green and Kentucky is lucky they aren’t on the schedule anymore.

And now to top it all off, somehow we have been tricked into spending $110 million on Commonwealth Stadium. Have you seen this stuff? All of these improvements benefit the rich donors with their hefty K Fund donations. What does it do for the regular fan? Nothing useful. I’ve had season tickets since the Roosevelt was in office but this year I gave them up because I can’t stand how terrible the program has become. So they decide to make the outside of the building pretty and build a huge press box. And to top it all off they are taking seats away?!! After all we have done for this team? Kentucky fans attend every game that is warm, and sunny, and against a weak opponent, and when there isn’t anything else going on in town. Way to step up and look like an SEC team, I sure don’t see Texas A&M reducing their number of seats. And they are spending way more money!

If you haven’t gotten the gist of this so far, this “letter” is a farce. I’m making fun of many of you. If you have said any of those things above, I specifically am targeting you. Everyone else, enjoy a good laugh. But seriously take a look at it. That’s you, that’s what you sound like. And I know there are a few of you who don’t know what’s wrong with that. Please…just walk away from Kentucky football and don’t look back. I’m sure there are other teams for you to say crazy stuff about. This football season didn’t go as well as anyone hoped, but the results aren’t far from what we should have expected.