I posed a similar a question to my nephew a couple of weeks ago, if we find the lost dog and get the $200 reward, would you buy 200 $1 things, or 1 $200 thing. His answer was “a seat for the shower” – I found it brilliant, the mind of a 7-year-old.
The NCAA passed legislation in October allowing schools to provide a $2,000 stipend to athletes. Sure, there’s a chance now that the rule is going to be suspended as 97 schools have voted to override forcing the NCAA to reconsider the measure, but that doesn’t stop me from posing the latest question of today’s youth: If I was an NCAA athlete that lived on campus and I was going to get $2,000 a year, pay for my school, and pay for a majority of my other living expenses, what would I do with the money?
Since I have no student athletes at my disposal, well I had to get into character and answer myself.
NEW-OLD CAR. Look, I have a crappy, junked up, hand-me-down station wagon my parents gave me 3 years ago when I turned 16. I could get a newer-less-junkified beater for that kinda bank. I’m thinking a Ford Focus, with spinners but I might just put in a system and call it a night… (do kids still do spinners?)
PLASMA – I’m broke, I have sold every bodily fluid I could possibly (and legally) sell and now all that plasma can be saved with my new $2,000… and I can purchase someone elses BIG SCREEN. I’m thinking 60″, it’d make the stack of homework I have mounting look small. Only problem is that the dorm is only 55″ across…
BLING – I might be more fond of Google to do my searches, but I’ll certainly settle for BLING around my neck, in my ears, and on my wrist. Gold, Silver, heck I’ll sport it Rudolph style and you can call me Yukon Cornelius as I’ll mix and go Silver and Gold, Silver and Gold.
RAIN – I’m over 18 and that’s all I need to get into a ‘gentleman’s’ club. Thus, I’ll go all Pac-Man Jones and make it rain. Drop that wad faster than Tennessee drops games to bad teams, IU fans can get on a court, and faster than Ricky P can…
ARCADE – With 2k fresh in my pocket, it’ll burn like few things have before. The good part about cash is that the burn can be cured without a shot – just spend it. And since I’m 2 hours late to practice already, I might as well get some burn relief via Modern Warfare and accessories. Do I have enough Benz to develop my own Kinect version of this game – doubtful, but I might just pay my roomie to run around and let me shoot him with a paintball gun. #MoneyWellSpent
PIMP – I need new threads. My Jordans are two versions ago and don’t match the uni’s this year. Luckily its a launch this weekend. Game starts at 1PM so I can line up outside the sporting goods store with exact change ready to COLLECT my kicks. With money left, I might creep eBay to see if I can find some vintage kicks too, I hear ’92s purple and black are nice.
PAGING DR BANK – If I was 12 years older I’d get a pager – now, I’m spending this cash on a smart phone. I’m thinking the new Razr. Hook my Droid Apps up! I’m going to be playing Angry Birds unlimitedly on this new unlimited data plan. Any ladies, call me or text… like you, their unlimited too.