Gobble, Gobble, Gobble… besides being a key piece of Rick Pitino’s testimony during the US Government vs Karen Sypher Extortion trial, it’s the sound of turkeys and today is their day – it’s Thanksgiving.
While I’m a ham guy at heart… turkey’s are in their rightful place as the mascot of Thanksgiving. Here’s proof: You can’t make awesome pigs by tracing your fist on a piece of paper, Ben Franklin didn’t suggest swine as the national mascot of the United States, and you didn’t pour Wild Boar into your Coke during that last tailgate, did you?
Because of the fowl’s awesomeness, families will gather around tables (I moved up to the big-kids table last year!), watch TV (while muting Joe Buck and Troy Aikman’s announcing of the Cowboys game), and flaunt over their bird – the true symbol of Thanksgiving. Words like “Cornucopia”, “Pilgrims”, “Feast”, and “Tryptophan” will be said numerous times at every meal and soon they will be followed with “share”, “remote”, “no”, “more”, “stupid”, “parade”, “football”, “now”,”or”,”divorce”… and “love”, “my”, “family”.
So to support you in your effort to avoid those last 5 words, I bring you the Kentucky Basketball Thesaurus for Thanksgiving.
Stuffing
[ˈstəfiNG]
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1. Filling for some object, typically food, that is packed into a container, usually a bird.
Sentence: Manners would suggest Chane Behanan provides potatoes since Anthony Davis provided the stuffing for Chane’s shot.
Synonyms: Anthony Davis, Posterize, BOOM, Rejection, Take it back
Antonyms: Opposing shooters, weak shots
Cornucopia
[kawr-nuh-koh-pee-uh]
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1. Having an over abundance of something
2. LOTS AND LOTS of a particular item
Sentence: The cornucopia of banners in Rupp Arena is the main reason for a new stadium to be completed.
Synonyms: Kentucky’s #1 Recruiting Classes, 5 NBA Lottery Picks from UK, Big Blue Nation
Antonyms: Respect for Rick Pitino
Mayflower
[ˈmāˌflouər]
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1. The Boat the Pilgrim’s arrived in North America on.
Sentence: The #1 recruiting class seems to take a Mayflower ever year to Kentucky.
Synonyms: John Calipari
Antonyms: Rick Pitino
Pumpkin Pie
[ˈpəm(p)kən pi]
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1. The sweet or dessert thing that comes at the end of a really good Thanksgiving meal.
Sentence: I like apple pie, I like cobbler, but I really love beating Duke – it was this years pumpkin pie.
Synonyms: March Madness as a UK fan, Banners in Rupp Arena, NBA Lockouts
Antonyms: March in Tennessee, March at Vanderbilt
New World
[n(y)o͞o wərld]
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1. A place undiscovered
2. Something totally different and new
Sentence: Tennessee football will experience a New World of Derek Dooley once they lose in Lexington Saturday.
Synonyms: Kentucky Football beating Tennessee
Antonyms: Duke Being Overrated, Kentucky winning Championships,
Puritan
/pyo͝oritn/
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1.A person who is very strict in morals and religion.
Sentence: Sex in a bedroom is for puritans, I’m kinky and will take a restaurant any day.
Synonyms: Normal, Average, Simple
Antonyms: Karen Sypher
Bonus: swag·ger
/ˈswægər/
Part of speech: noun
Definition:
1. That ‘umph’ behind a Kentucky basketball player, fan.
2. A little somethin’ somethin
Synonyms: Marquis Teaque, Anthony Davis, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Terrence Jones, Doron Lamb, John Calipari
Antonyms: Louisville Basketball
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone – and remember: the test is after the break… not before, have fun this weekend; they make aluminum foil for more than just your TV antenna – bring me some leftovers; and there’s always a running dialogue of my family on the Twitter account: @sportsthat.