Happy Halloween. I have to admit that Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays solely for the movies. I am a sucker for zombie movies. I am talking about the athletic, fast Danny Boyle zombies of “28 Days Later” and “28 weeks later” but give me a good story and I an happy. So I have re-discovered my love of those old-lumbering-sole-as molasses-but-persistent-as-heck zombies with the great “Walking Dead” series on AMC.
Maybe it’s me, but I have always been sympathetic for the zombie. They are long dead and rotting and don’t seem to know and just keep lumbering around and waiting for our hero to put them out of their misery.
In a way, our sports landscape is littered with the Walking Dead so for Halloween, I decided to compile a list of the top five examples of sports personalities whose careers are long dead, only they don’t seem to really know it. Hopefully these souls get their mercy in the form of retirement soon. In case these zombies are unaware their careers are dead, I have included the precise moment their career died:
# 5 – DONTRELLE WILLIS – CINCINNATI REDS
RIP: DECEMBER 5, 2007
The “D-Train” was a bonafide sensation his first three seasons in major league baseball as he won a World Series and a Rookie of the Year Award for the Florida Marlins in 2003. He went 22-10 and finished 2nd in the NL Cy Award voting in 2005. His decline started then, but he still won 12 games in 2006 and 10 games in 2007. Then he was traded to Detroit on December 5, 2007.
After that, Willis battled injuries and inconsistencies but has posted just a 6-18 record in the majors in the six seasons since leaving south Florida. While it’s hard to be cruel to someone that has suffered the injuries, in the sports world injuries are the main reason some folks join the walking dead.
#4 GRANT HILL – PHOENIX SUNS
RIP: AUGUST 3, 2000
Once again injuries create another member of our walking dead. During his first six seasons in the NBA, Grant Hill was on course to become one of the greatest players ever. He had a total of 9,393 points, 3,417 rebounds and 2,720 assists. Only three players (Oscar Robertson, Larry Bird, and LeBron James) have had better numbers their first six seasons. On August 3, 2000 Hill was sent to the Orlando Magic as part of a sign and trade deal and this is the date his career effectively died.
Hill was well rested during his time in Orlando and played in just 200 games over six seasons while banking a cool $92.8M in the process. Since fleecing Orlando, Hill has gone to Phoenix like most retirees and averaged 11.3 and 13.2 points. It’s a far cry from the 25.8 a game when he should have been laid to rest.
#3 CHAD OCHOCINCO – NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
RIP: DECEMBER 30, 2007
The receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson had his last truly great moment against the Miami Dolphins in the last game of the 2007 season when he caught four passes for 131 yards and 2 TD’s. At the time, it was cute to call him “Ochocinco” as he was racking up points for my fantasy franchise. The next year was the beginning of the end for Ocho as he gained just 540 yards receiving and had just four TD’s in 2008.
Yes, Ocho did barely break the 1000 yard mark in 2009, but for all intent and purpose, he was a member of the walking dead. He still is waiting for that shotgun blast to the head in New England to put him out of his misery as he has just 9 receptions on the season playing catch with Tom Brady.
#2 TERRELL OWENS – ???
RIP: NOVEMBER 8, 2010
It’s sad when ego ends up being the end to a career like in the case of Terrell Owens. Owens had his last big game against the Pittsburgh Steelers in week 8 last season with 10 catches for 141 yards and 2 TD’s. He entered zombiehood that night and had just 17 catches for 213 yards the remainder of the season. Somehow the Bengals managed to win a game last year with the all zombie WR tandem of TO and Ochocinco, so that is a feat indeed.
Owens has not gotten the news that his career is dead yet, but the recent workout where zero NFL teams showed up had to be an eye opener. As is stands, TO is unemployed but has an arena league offer on the table. If it take it, hopefully that comes with a good mental health insurance plan as the former superstar is in need of some serious therapy.
#1 RICK PITINO – LOUISVILLE CARDINALS
RIP: MAY 8, 1997
RIP: APRIL 1, 2003
RIP: APRIL 1, 2009
Of all the zombies on the list, Rick Pitino had his professional career and personal life killed a total of three times so far, yet he keeps clogging along. Pitino suffered his first death in 1997 when he walked away from a Final Four team and followed the dollars to Boston to coach the Celtics. Tubby Smith won the NCAA title in 1998 for Kentucky and Rick Pitino went 102-146 with the Celtics. Not knowing he was dead, Pitino returned to Kentucky and took over the job as head coach of Louisville.
Pitino’s second death was a personal one as April 1, 2003 was the infamous “15 seconds of passion” with Karen Sypher in a closed Porcini’s restaurant which led to Pitino paying for Sypher’s abortion. This malfeasance was not made public for a few years, but you can bet that Pitino lost his soul that night.
And death number three was a symbolic one as John Calipari ended Pitino’s reign of being relevant in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Pitino was in a pretty good place with the Ville as he had a Final Four and an Elite Eight appearance while Kentucky floundered. When Calipari came, Pitino’s empire declined, going 45-23 the past two seasons and not advancing past the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Calipari has gone 2-0 versus Pitino and 64-12 overall, leaving Pitino to ramble the streets of Louisville ranting hysterically about the demise of the Big East Conference.
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