Kentucky Wildcat Basketball – The NCAA Selection Committee: This Is What Happens When You Don't Discipline Your Children

Mark, old buddy, we need to talk.I know you have a lot on your plate these days, what with interviewing tattoo artists, eavesdropping on BBQ’s, and watching all of these coaches tearful mea culpas, but I need to bend your ear just for a minute or two.

While you are cleaning house at the NCAA, and trying to remake it in your own image, I have a suggestion. FIRE THE SELECTION COMMITTEE! Because they are either all in need of attending AA meetings because they fell off the wagon since last Thursday, or they are all candidates for the next episode of the Supreme Court Of Comedy.

I have a very long and distinguished list of concerns here, but I am only going to hit the highlights, because frankly, the only thing I can hope to change with all of this is to make sure it never happens to anyone else again.

First: Now I am no mathematician. I am much more of a philosopher. But it seems to me that when a team like the Cats beats a team like Florida twice in three weeks, it should register on your idiot gauge somewhere. So why, in the name of all that is Holy and good in this world, would you give them a 2 seed, and the Cats a 4??

Second: Does one of you owe Bruce Weber money? Explain to me how Illinois gets into the tournament and Alabama sits out? Not saying that Illinois is not a respectable ball club, but to leave Bama out and have them in is something nigh to a greek tragedy. And even allowing for that not being the biggest insult in the history of the tournament, you put UAB in a play-in game and still leave Bama holding their jaw up to keep the flies out? UAB???

Third: Going back to that bizarre 4 seed you saddled us with, not only did you send some sort of a cryptic message with that placement, you make us the FOURTH #4, and stick us in with Ohio State? Of your #2 seeds, we have beaten one of them twice, once on a neutral floor, another one on a neutral floor, and just missed beating a third. Please explain this to me…………………….Anyone?…………..Bueller?………………………Anyone? And the other one is San Diego State?? Oh, the pain.

And Last, but Certainly Not Least: You have Purdue and Syracuse as 3 seeds, which is certainly reasonable, and although I think UCONN should have probably gotten a 2, tell me how BYU is a better 3 seed than Kentucky?

So, Mark Emmert, if you would be so kind as to address these issues, which I am sure are also rattling your mind as well, please get back to all of us with something that would resemble an answer that is not only intelligent but witty. Because I know these are not the real brackets, this is an early April Fools joke right?

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