What I Hate About You: Tenneessee Volunteers

I hate the fact that such a woman had to wear that color. Layla Kiffin btw

Let’s get one thing straight before I start this. I don’t hate Lane Kiffin. Last year around this time people asked me if I did and I responded with a profound “yes”, but now the softer, gentler, more sensuous Zach has changed his mind. Now? I kind of like him. He may have at one time coached the disgusting hued Samaritans to the south, but he managed to marry a smoking hot woman, achieve the ranks of NFL coachdom, and then fall, so ungracefully, into the biggest name college coaching position he could find the year he got fired. But then, like anyone without a debilitating mental deficiency, he realized what a hole eastern Tennessee was and bolted. Why have I been able to forgive him and even end up being a fan on his facebook page? Because he completely screwed the UT football program. He got so bored with that amazing body up there that he took it to a group level; after a mediocre year in which he self-reported numerous secondary violations (I’ll talk about that later), he bolted and left Knoxville with Derek Dooley. All this made me like Lane Kiffin. You know why? Because I hate you, University of Tennessee.

I hate the fact that we never got any juicy details from the Orange Pride squad investigation, or at least an official punishment for it. Packs of flag-waving, jersey chasing sluts is not entirely shocking, but when you set up a school funded organization designed to bring the sluts to the recruit, that makes me hate them. It also makes me hate the fact that I’m not a high D-1 prospect, but that’s beside the point. School have hostesses show recruits around, no big deal, but showing up to their high school games and doing enough to prompt said recruits to say they were, “real pretty, real nice and just real cool” and think they had “a lot” of influence in his teammates making oral commitments? F**k you Tennessee. You know you have to send someone up there to “convince” people to come to that school because there’s absolutely no reason to come to such a geographically and culturally isolated location besides hordes of girls willing to sleep with them. And what of the multiple secondary violations? Nothing. I know a foul tip only counts so much, but when it seems that a school is intentionally tipping the ball until they hit a home run, you have to call them on it eventually. Just another new fountain of hate.

On a cool, dark Thursday night in Knoxville last year, two young men had stopped at a Pilot gas station and were robbed. I’m not going into all the details here but you can read the this link and get the story. Short of it is, these guys got robbed by three football players, one of whom was a very highly recruited freshman. But instead of being shocked or angry about it, the fans who got robbed suggested letting the robbery go unpunished. Quotes are in the article, but the victim had a (pellet, even though he said it looked real) gun pointed at his face and said in the same interview,”They can just let ’em play football, they’ll be all right.” ARE YOU SERIOUS?. If Randall Cobb himself (may his blessings be upon you) had walked up and pointed any gun-like weapon at my face, I would not be telling him to “just go play football”. If that makes me not a true fan, then I will take that burden. Oh yeah, one more gem from that piece: “I think it should be up to the coaches, I don’t know. I still love Tennessee, though. If it’s gonna help out the team, I’m gonna go for that.”

Derek Dooley. Besides the fact I can’t say his name without smiling a little, but he was in way over his head from day one. He seems like a great guy, and I’m sure he is intelligent (he is a lawyer after all), and I’m sure he was happy being the head coach of a mid-major football team in a small town. But Tennessee plucked him out of the air because absolutely no one would take their head coaching job, thus ruining his Disney movie life and dropping him in that dump of a program. Yes, I realize that he took the job willingly, but when a program is offering millions a year I would guess it’s hard to turn down. Like I said, I like the guy so I’m not going to rip on him anymore. I just

don’t like

hate the administration.

Having successfully doled out enough hatred for a pre-game Friday.   I will leave you with my yearly favorite Youtube clip. Enjoy.

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