Move over Memphis Tiger fans, you have been replaced

by Paul Jordan
Admit it Memphis Tiger fans. You know it and I know it …. but Memphis fans hating on John Calipari is so 2009. So come on Memphis, tell Dan Wolken to stop tweeting about John Calipari ad naseum, it’s become a tired act. Most relationship experts say it takes about a month per year to get over a long term relationship that went sour. Calipari left Memphis in April of last year, so Danny boy started getting officially “Fatal Attraction-ish/Single White Female like” around January … that was the nine month mark for the nine years Cal spent in Memphis.

I guess if we have to categorize Memphis’s obsession, it is more “Single White Female-ish” after all. When Cal left, the spurned Tigers went and hired Cal’s right hand man Josh Pastner — who was on his way to Lexington at the time. And all the things that they now bash Calipari for, Joshie boy has already done at Memphis. His reign at Memphis is a virtual “check the box” list for a Calipari-lite.

Took in a recruiting “package deal? Check off that box with the Barton brothers. Recruit a one and done player? Elliot Williams will fill that box. Calipari-lite hast just about checked off all the boxes on the Calipari list except the “dominate the Conference USA” box.

But like I said, Calipari has been gone from Memphis for over a year, so it’s time for Memphis to move on. And Washington Huskies fan can move in as the “team that despises Kentucky the most”. Face it … no matter how this Terrence Jones thing turns out, Kentucky has gained a new mortal enemy from the Northwest. And I have to admit, it is an unlikely enemy.

UK and Washington have faced just once on the basketball court … a 66-58 UK victory in the 1985 NCAA Tournament. But a few years after that, Kentucky outbid the Huskies in a fierce recruiting battle for Mark Pope and the tempers have been at a low simmer since then.

Until Kentucky had the gall to nab hotshot recruit Enes Kanter, who committed to the Huskies after being in the country for just a few days. Kanter later de-committed and stated he really was not familiar with this basketball recruiting game when he became a Huskie. And now Kentucky is in the bidding for PF Terrence Jones, who committed to the Huskies seemingly in an state of confusion.

It kind of makes you wonder if Lorenzo Romar is taking himself a huge bottle of chloroform and a rag with him when he gets these commitments.

To be honest, I really don’t want to get into a big pissing match with the Huskie fans. Two of my favorite things, Nirvana and Starbucks, have come from Washington State, and to be honest, the Huskies are going to be a good team next year with or without Jones. All I ask is if we are to become hated rivals for the next year or so, please use more imagination than the Tiger fans.

So in the event Kentucky does get both Kanter and Jones, don’t come up with these ridiculous names like Memphis fans did for Kentucky like “Memtucky Tigercats” or whatever lame wordplay passes for humor in Memphis. Refrain from calling us the Kentuckington Wildhuskies as tempting or clever as that may be. Other teams lusting after our players is just kind of creepy. But give us your best shot. I notice some of your reporters have already commenced the “cali-bashing”.

To be honest, Kentucky fans kind of feed off the hate. So if you want to take your shots at us, we will give you lots of hits to your site, but be ready for the backlash as we overload your comments section and facebook walls. Kentucky is kind of unique as other team’s hate just makes us stronger and we would much rather fight with other teams fans than fight amongst ourselves. We did enough of that pre-Calipari and it was just tiring.

So welcome to the rivalry, Husky fans. We look forward to pillaging your team and adding Terrence to our “all Husky frontcourt”. And even if you keep Jones, it’s OK to hate us for Kanter, just don’t go all creepy stalkerish like those Tiger fans.

Stay classy Washingon, stay classy.

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