Talkin' Bout Terrence!
By Paul Jordan
I usually don’t like to flaunt my connections with the recruiting world, but with such an exciting courtship period going on, I will let you, the reader, in on this privilege. I know my name does not get mentioned as much as World Wide Wes, but I pay very good money to keep it that way. Besides, who wants to walk up and hug a sweaty Lebron James when you have dinner plans with him later? But I digress, what I am sharing with you is inside information that only a few people know, and it is huge, be prepared to wrap your mind around this. It concerns a recruit by the name of…Terrence.
Terrence started as two people, Terrence Ross and Terrence Jones. These young men both grew up in Portland, Oregon and quickly showed talent for basketball (one of them also had immense talent for interpretive dance, but that was quickly squashed. Guess which one? Inside knowledge). Fortune, or maybe destiny, brought them to the same high school where they won the state championship for the Jefferson High School Democrats (seriously, look it up! What a Blue state). They realized the sort of comedy that could be had if they became friends, and just like a hilariously awesome 80’s high school comedy, they became compatriots, getting into all sorts of hilarious hijinks. It was a perfect combination, Ross taking the initiative as the aggresive scored with lockdown D and the ability to play anywhere on the court, and Jones serving as the marksmen and big shot maker. Their success was only rivaled by the notoriety for getting into sticky situations. Then, the summer before their junior year of high school, they contrived one of the greatest pranks of all time…they would become each other.
Terrence originally had doubts about the prank. He didn’t think people would be that he was his friend, for as much as they were alike, they were different. Ross liked his toast with jelly, Jones wth just butter, and people knew that. Ross was a lefty, and Jones used his right. It was too crazy to work, but Terrence convinced him that they could pull it off. They locked themselves behind a closed fence and got to work for the next four months.
The unveiling of the prank was going to be the first day of school. They walked in and prayed that their work would pay off and people would buy it; and it worked. They had successfully pulled off the prank. “Hey, Terrence!” People would say, and the other one would look, causing both to snicker and laugh. But everyone else bought it, even their parents. Jones could use his left hand better than his right by this point and Ross worked on his lane penetration so much he trusted it more than any other shot. They exchanged clothes, music (they didn’t have to trade Jagged Little Pill), and moves, all while acting like nothing had ever happened. The prank is still going on, so keep it down when telling people, but for those on the inside, the joke gets funnier every day. When you hear tweets about what “Terrence Ross” is going to do, you never know if they’re saying it ironically That humor is what we call high-brow.
So there you have it, a prank so great everyone on earth bought it. The last time that happened we convinced the whole world that…well, let’s just say Dodos are delicious. Have fun wrapping your mind around that.
Why didn’t I use my recruiting clout to ask them which way they are leaning? Come on, I’ve got pull but I have no idea. Not like I can get inside their heads. Geez, chill out
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