What I hate about you: Tennessee Volunteers Edition

by Paul Jordan

Well, the Tennessee Volunteers screwed up what would have been a huge battle for supremacy in the SEC East by losing to Vandy the other night, but tomorrows matchup at Rupp is enormous in it’s own right still. The Wildcats have a chance to hang the fourth conference loss on the Vols this season and in effect, kick them to the curb in terms of a division title. Even if not for that, this is a huge rivalry matchup. Like the Gators, there is plenty to hate about the Vols, from that football winning streak all the way to their confusing mix of mascots and their smug air of superiority even though this is a team that has not won anything in recent years … well at least in men’s athletics.

That said, Kentucky did sweep the over-rated Vols in basketball last season and let’s just say that Tennessee is the one team that even Gillispie owned with that flashy .750 winning percentage. And the football streak? I am almost certain that will end in my lifetime. So without any further ado, let’s delve into this edition of “What I hate About You”.

THAT COLOR ORANGE

You know, the Gators and the Hurricanes have shown that the color orange can be a pretty nice primary color for a school. I also love the Miami Dolphin’s orange jerseys and like the old “Denver Crush” orange of Bronco uniforms of years ago. But Tennessee Orange? It is among the worst color for a uniform ever, ranking right up there with the “creamsicle orange” that the Tampa Bay Bucs used to wear. This orange is worse though. It can’t even be called pumpkin orange. Rather, it’s the orange color of the nasty pumpkin guts that you throw down the garbage disposal. It is so nasty a color that even pumpkins are revolted by it:

The color is soooo bad (How bad is it!!!) that of all the teams that have went with the “cool black uniforms”, the Vols version of this crowd pleaser looked like complete and utter garbage. Seriously, how could such a simple thing like black uniforms go so hideously wrong?

THUG U

Tennessee fans like to mock Kentucky center DeMarcus Cousins and call him incredibly witty things like Demarcus “Thuggins“. Ah, ok. He’s an intense player and does not put up with shit on the court, so he is a thug. Gotcha.

The fact of the matter is that four Tennessee players were arrested for gun and drug charges on January 1 and despite those serious charges, three of the four players have been re-instated to the team. Center Brian Williams was reinstated just in time for the Vandy and UK game, which is eerily reminiscent of Urban Meyer disciplining his thugs by making them miss half a game against Charleston Southern.

BRUCE PEARL

Simply put, Bruce Pearl is a douche. When Pearl was an assistant at Iowa, he lost a recruiting battle to Illinois over Deon Thomas. Acting like a beat down little bitch, Pearl called Thomas and recorded a conversation where Thomas said Illinois offered him a SUV and cash to sign with them. Then Bruce took his tape and ran to the NCAA to try to get Illinois in trouble. Thomas later recanted his story and said it was not true and a lie detector test showed that the SUV story was not credible. So Illinois was cleared of any wrongdoing in the Thomas recruitment but other things were uncovered and Illinois was punished for that. Because of Bruce’s involvement, he was blacklisted by NCAA coaches for several years.

So UT fans, your coach has always been a douche. He did not uncover wrongdoing out of a sense of honor … he took part in making up a story because he got beat in a recruiting war. What a man.

When not turning in fellow coaches on made up charges, Bruce likes to spend his time being a “jagoff” and overcompensates for his inferiority to Kentucky by running up the score on very bad teams. last summer, Bruce coached Team America in the Jewish Olympics and beat the Mexican team 112-13. In another stunning display of sportmanship. Pe
arl and his hoodlums trounced UNC Asheville 124-49, a game that impressed Tobias Harris so much, he decided he wanted to perform future felonies in puke orange and white

STEVEN PEARL

I’m not really a big fan of coach’s kids playing for their Dad in college. Saul Smith, Patrick Knight, and Sean Sutton are among the scores of “Daddy’s Boys” who take a deserving player’s spot on the team. And Pearl apparently has no shame in riding his Dad’s ample coat tails. Steven even admitted such, in a 2007 interview with Sports Illustrated that he had no shame in using his Daddy’s name to score chicks:

Most of the time they know who you are. I’m not ashamed to say it: if girls want to go for my last name instead of my looks, then hey, that’s how they feel.”

THOMPSON BOLING ARENA

If anything represented the inferiority complex Tennessee has towards Kentucky, it has to be the Thompson Boling Arena. It’s very design was built to spite Kentucky. When it opened in 1987, it was the largest arena built specifically for basketball with a seating capacity of 24,678, barely eclipsing that of Rupp. Not so ironically, the largest crowd at the TBA was 25, 610 for a 1989 game against, you guessed it … Kentucky.

After about a decade of empty seats for games against teams not named Kentucky, the Thompson Boling Arena was “re-designed” in 1997 and now has a seating capacity of 21,000. And what about all the national titles that were envisioned when this stadium was built? The came, but for Lady Vol’s coach Pat Summit. In fact, Bruce Pearl has been emasculated in the fact that his Vols are not even the primary tenants in their building. The floor is named “The Summit” in honor of Pat and it’s clear who wears the belts (and championship banners) around Knoxville.

In the mood for more Volunteer bashing? New staff writer Zach Rosen will be around a bit later with his version of “What I hate about you, Tennessee”. As a matter of fact, most of today’s blog will be devoted to the Tennessee game so come back for the following (all times estimates):

10:00 AM – Paul with the last word on Pitino/Nets story

1:00 PM – Zach Rosen with his article on Tennessee

3:00 PM – Corey’s Inside the Numbers: Cal vs Pearl

8:00 – Paul’s “Know Your Enemy – Tennessee”

Keep following www.http://wildcatbluenation.com for the best in Kentucky basketball and football news, rumors, and opinions. By Kentucky fans for Kentucky fans

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