Now that Christmas is over, we can turn our FULL attention, during this season of giving, to the game against Little Brother that will define THEIR season. And in that same spirit of giving, I reached out, simultaneously to former UK Head Coach, Rick Pitino, and the Big Blue Nation to bring you this interview that is peppered with your questions.
Q: Coach Pitino, thank you for taking the time for agreeing to do this interview for Wildcatbluenation.com and the Big Blue Nation.
A: No problem, Mr. Hunter, I appreciate the opportunity to give back to the Nation and pass along some of my wisdom and perspective.
Q: Pass along? Is that what landed you in the Cleveland Clinic?
A: Blank Stare
Q: Ok, well moving along. How do you feel about this year’s team?
A: This is the greatest group of kids I’ve ever had the privilege of coaching.
Q: Seriously? Well I’ll take your word for it since I don’t care enough about L1C4 to know whether that’s true. All I will remind you is that Peyton Siva is your PG.
Q: How do you get your PG’s overrated so frequently? What about your teams?
A: Two words: Chicken Bucket Hats
Q: Heard any good jokes lately? You have 15 seconds.
A: Good one.
Q: Explain to me this fascination with line beards.
A: The line beard is a cultural “Futurama Jeezy” if you will…it helps them align the my complex offense in their mind.
Q: Um…coach…that’s an animated cartoon and a rapper. Are you feeling alright?
A: No, not really. I mean, would you be feeling alright if your team was a couple days away from an arse whooping? Anyway, Peyton said if I say “Futurama Jeezy” the kids will think I’m hip…like Cal. Peyton is an idiot.
Q: Do you talk with your former Cardinal players often?
A: Well with the time zone differences from Europe to the US, not really. Francisco Garcia invites me to his shanty every so often but I can’t take this white suit past the meth labs in California. That. Ain’t. Happening. And he knows that.
Q: Err…how’s your wife doing?
A: She’s doing alright, I guess. I’m just not that into her anymore.
Q: Moving along…so your son, Richard, is now the Head Coach at FIU. What did you get an opposing coach for Christmas?
A: Yeah he’s at FIU and for Christmas I got him a book on overcoming struggles. “Bounce Back” I believe it’s called. Excellent book.
Q: You’re in your twilight years now as coaching is concerned, so have you given any thought about retirement?
A: Are you kidding? I think about it all the time. I’d love to retire to a job where there is less pressure to win and they pay me by the armored car. Wait a minute…(light bulb is coming on)
Q: Yes…you already have that. Coach, I know you’re a busy man and I appreciate your sitting down to talk with me. I have just a few more questions I was tweeted by #BBN members. Do you have a couple minutes for those?
A: Anything for my fans
Q: How stupid was it to leave Kentucky?
A: Now that’s a great question and once I’m asked often. It was stupider than Porcini’s takeout. Easily the biggest regret of my life.
FQ: Which was the biggest regret?
Q: If you could have one do-over in coaching, what would it be.
A: Another excellent question. Well I’m a very fortunate coach because I get a do-over every year, but the result has been exactly the same for the past 3.
Q: What do you think about the possibility of sharing the Yum! Center with an NBA team?
A: what are you talking about? We’re not sharing anything. We may ALLOW an NBA team to come in and play in OUR arena but sharing an arena? That’s crazy talk.
FQ: Crazy talk like UConn leaving the Big East?
FC: *Blank Stare*
Q: What were you thinking during the entire Karen Sypher saga?
A: 15 Seconds?
Q: One final question: Was the Cleveland Clinic able to cure you of what was ailing you? Clap once for “yes” and twice for “no.”
A: *Claps Twice*
Coach Pitino, thank you for being so kind as to answer most of these questions. It’s truly been an honor to fill in the rest. Do you have a prediction for the game this weekend?
Well, Mr. Hunter, it’s been a pleasure and as for the game, I probably won’t sit for a while after this one.
Best to you, Coach
*******No part of this interview actually took place. It’s my contribution to Louisville Hate Week********