Kentucky Wildcats Football Recruiting Class 2012: Excelsior!

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Demarcus Sweat

Kentucky’s 2012 recruiting class is good, despite what the recruiting services may tell you. Those services also won’t tell you that it pays to rank more popular teams high. But this is a super class. As in superhero. Today we will look at some of Kentucky’s signees and which hero they compare to. Hopefully they can combat the Kentucky football chapter of the Legion of Doom over the next 4-5 years:

Patrick Towles – Superman: What can’t this kid do? He won practically every award imaginable and posted video game stats while only playing half of his games during the season. Towles has super-strength to throw a deep ball and super speed to the tune of 15 TDs. After succeeding under the Friday night lights, it should be interesting to see what Towles can do with a healthy dose of Saturday yellow-sun.

Demarcus Sweat- Spiderman: Spiderman was a teenager who was bitten by a radioactive spider & gained numerous spider-like abilities. Demarcus Sweat is a teenage wide receiver who possesses superhuman capabilities as well. While Spiderman can climb walls and shoot webs, Sweat has sticky hands for catching passes. His jumping ability and speed exceed the average man. And he seems to possess a spider-sense of his own, making him a dangerous return man.

Jordan Swindle- Incredible Hulk: At 6’8” 308 lbs. , Swindle would tower over poor Bruce Banner. Already a hulk of a man at a young age, Jordan’s transformation becomes apparent in his demeanor. When the pads come on, Swindle plays offensive line with mean streak unlike any other. And being so huge, lesser men are helpless to stop him. Don’t make him angry, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Patrick Graffree – The Thing: Ben Grimm was an average man before a freak accidental exposure to radiation transformed him into an ugly beast with super strength. Graffree was an average teen, whom few has heard of, until an accidental exposure at one of UK’s summer camps transformed him into an SEC defensive tackle. All while luckily retaining his looks. The Thing may not have been the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four but he was the most relatable and lovable. Likewise Patrick may not be the highest rank member of his class, but he is already a fan favorite with the BBN.

Khalid Henderson – Silver Surfer: The Surfer wasn’t always a hero. Originally he served a being known as Galactus, searching out planets for Galactus to consume in his never-ending hunger. But things changed when he came to Earth, the Silver Surfer betrayed his master and chose to stay on the blue planet. Henderson similarly was once loyal to great enemy, Derek Dooley of the Tennessee Volunteers. But after being strung along but Galact…err, I mean Dooley, Khalid decided to join forces with the Big Blue Nation. Super speed, strength and agility are common powers.

Justin Taylor – Wolverine: Wolverine is a mutant that has lived hundreds of years due to his body’s unique ability to heal itself.  His healing ability allowed him to survived having liquid metal bonded to his skeleton. An outcast by nature, Wolverine is often most effective when angrily tearing through enemies using brute strength. Taylor is a teenager who tore a knee ligament as a senior and was cast off by the evil Nick Saban. All reports regarding his knee healing are good and this indicates the ability to heal quickly. Similar to Wolverine, Taylor is at best when he is bashing through a defense by strength and determination.