Coach Cal informed me this morning that it is Terrence Jones’ 20th birthday today. Like my ex-girlfriend, I was caught off guard, as the date was not in my PDA, and I failed to send him a present. Hopefully, Terrence doesn’t block me on Twitter like she did.
But to avoid further confusion and ensure I’m doing my best as a loyal Twitter follower, I’ve updated my little personal digital assistant with the dates of everyone that matters on the Kentucky basketball team… sorry mom, dad, sis – you’ll get a card one day… here’s the Cats and when they get there’s though.
Twany Beckham: 14-Nov-88 23 years 1 months 26 days – Twany is the old man of the group, but I can only say that I love seeing players still born in the 80s on the list. It makes me feel just a little bit younger knowing someone born in the same decade as I was, is still playing ball. Then I look in the mirror, get the binoculars out, and see this hairline… I hate you old age, I most certainly do.
Eloy Vargas: 30-Dec-88 23 years 0 months 10 days – A near New Years baby, Eloy graces the pages of WBN as the second transfer and the second oldest of the group. Another 80s born guy, he’ll be gone this year only leaving Beckham to support that cause next season.
Darius Miller: 21-Mar-90 21 years 9 months 19 days – Miller is the only true senior on this team and the third most vintage. Hopefully, like a wine or, my fav, bourbon, Darius just gets better with age.
Anthony Davis: 11-Mar-91 20 years 9 months 29 days – The surprise freshman born in 91, Davis will be 21 before the season’s end. He’ll be able to legally celebrate his #1 pick in the 2012 NBA draft with a personally bought bottle of cognac… or whatever he prefers.
Ryan Harrow: 22-Apr-91 20 years 8 months 18 days – Another transfer rounds out the top half of the list. Harrow sits out this year, but will come in next season as the second oldest member of the team behind Beckham. Yes, while this team is young, it certainly shows its age in spots.
Jarrod Polson: 8-May-91 20 years 8 months 1 days – Babyface Polson makes the list. In 4 months, Polson will be 21 and in 10 years he’ll still be getting carded to buy spray paint (18 in the state of Kentucky).
Jon Hood: 9-May-91 20 years 8 months 0 days – Hood shares playing time and nearly birthdays with Polson. Dude just can’t buy a break.
Doron Lamb: 6-Nov-91 20 years 2 months 3 days – He shoots lights out and at a mere 20 years and 2 months, so 20 candles are a piece of cake right? Well, it’ll be another 10 months before Doron sees 21.
Sam Malone: 6-Dec-91 20 years 1 months 3 days – Malone isn’t old enough to buy that beer in his namesake Cheers, but in Kentucky, he could serve it to you legally (20 and 1 day). I’ll have an Old Fashion Sam.
Terrence Jones: 9-Jan-92 20 years 0 months 0 days – The birthday boy is one of the ‘vetrans’ on the team but is in the bottom half of the age bracket on this squad. He received brownies from Mrs Coach Cal but he’s likely to trend with all the birthday wishes floating around in the cybersphere.
Brian Long: 2-Apr-92 19 years 9 months 7 days – Long in the tooth he is not, our first 19 year old on the list comes from walk-on freshman Brian Long.
Kyle Wiltjer: 20-Oct-92 19 years 2 months 20 days – Wiltjer is a founding member of the WBA… next year when Polson is out bar hopping, Wiltjer will still be recording videos and playing H.O.R.S.E… its OK Kyle… we’ll still watch your videos.
Marquis Teague: 28-Feb-93 18 years 10 months 12 days – One day short of being a Leap Year Day baby, Teague represents one half of the 18 year old club. In 6 weeks, Teague will leave MKG holding the flame.
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist: 26-Sep-93 18 years 3 months 14 days – Oddly enough, the crowned leader of this Kentucky team is the youngest. At 18 years and 3 months, MKG will see his NBA stock continue to rise once the scouts realize his talents don’t match his age… he’ll be as close to the first high school player in the NBA as the league has seen in years… but this one will be proven.