On Saturday afternoon, I fired off an angry 1100 word missive on the Kentucky Wildcats football loss to the Missouri Tigers. I compared the game to the “Wrong Turn” horror movies and said that the only thing missing on Saturday was a decrepit gas station owner who leered at Joker Phillips and pointed him in the direction of Faurot Stadium. As the UK team bus left, the gas station owner spat another stream of tobacco juice into the ground and shook his head at the lost souls going to meet their demise. That is how horror movies go.
For some reason, the WordPress Gods decided to eat that column and in an overwhelming fit of apathy, I decided not to spend the time and energy preparing the story again. For me to do so would mean I spent more time preparing a story than Joker Phillips spent preparing this team for Missouri. And I was not OK with that. Two days later, I am still mad as hell about the loss to Missouri and the embarassing performance.
This did not have to be the case. IF Freddy Krueger has 10 razor sharp knives as fingers, the Missouri Tigers had maybe four butter knives instead. This was not an Alabama or an LSU that Kentucky was marching into play, but it was a rather toothless Tigers team that was winless in the SEC and had already lost to Vanderbilt and was coming off a 42-10 beatdown loss to Alabama. This was not a very good Missouri Tiger team, yet the end result was the same for the Kentucky Wildcats.
Another humiliating beatdown on the road. In the last two road games, Kentucky has lost 82-17 to Arkansas and Missouri. Hardly the cream of the crop when it comes to SEC hierarchy. And on the year, Kentucky has been outscored 152-31 and it could have been a lot worse had each team shown mercy on the pathetic Wildcats. Louisville inserted Will Stein into the game. Florida and Missouri just ran the clock out. And Arkansas? It was an act of God.
Last year? It was not much better. Kentucky was crushed in four road games to the tune of 146-28. And no. The win over WKU at Nashville does not count as a road game. The last two season, Kentucky has been outscored 298-59 on the road. And the horror streak on the road continues to 2010 when Kentucky lost their last four road games by the combined score of 140-76. So the tally for the last 12 road games, all losses? 438-135 or an average loss of 36.5 to 11.25.
But as they say, we will always have Louisville. Kentucky’s last road win as in the first game of the Joker Phillips era, a 23-16 win. As as New Found Glory says, “It’s all downhill from here”.
Just three years ago, Kentucky’s once bright future has turned into a comedy of errors and like a bad Batman movie, two classic villains will be talked about the rest of the way: